Going backwards.

        T.S. Eliot once said: “What we call the beginning is often the end.  And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

       So let’s start from the ending. It’s my last day on this wonderful world and I can honestly say I will finish my let’s call it journey in peace. I am fulfilled. I have had the opportunity of having opportunities, the chance of taking chances and I risked spending my entire life risking. Indeed, I am that old rusty man standing on the porch waiting for his last minutes to vanish, enjoying all the things normal people forget about, as the sun, the cold pouring rain in the middle of the hot summer, like the smell of grass and not to forget about the trips to memory lane. Yes, these are the most important. Once I’m gone, my memories are gone along with me and the only thing remaining on this great land will be my memory in the eyes of the others.  My life goes by in the blink of an eye.

       Oh I can’t imagine a harder period of my life than this. Being an adult is so complicated. My children are driving me crazy and I honestly cannot stand my father in law, he can be so annoying. Why in the world have I agreed with the love of my life to get among us this horrifying creature?  He seems so angry all the time. I wonder if ever I will face harder times than this. It’s outrageous! I am not stressed, I am beyond stressed, I am overwhelmed.  I don’t feel appreciated at all. I can’t wait to be older to get some peace and quiet of my own. If only I knew what life brings me in the future, that would be great! Obviously I have to go, Ben is hungry again. “Be right there to help you, darling!” Oh God what have I done wrong that you punish me this hard?

       I don’t understand them at all, they are too strict. Don’t they ever have fun? Why is my dad always so bumped up or my mother so worried all the time? I am young; I need to be wild and free. Who needs school? Who needs them? I can do very well on my own. I want to see the whole world and have an adventure of my own as I’ve seen in those cool Tom Cruise movies. Will they ever understand that I will do as I please? I am much more mature then they are. They know nothing! Why can’t they just leave me alone? Now I am grounded for throwing a party they did not know about.  Have they forgotten how it’s like to be young? Of course they have, they still listen to songs like “singing in the rain” and “don’t stop believing”. They are pathetic. I will get out of this house through the window as I always do. See you in the morning grannies. I’m out!

       So I woke up here, in a place I do not know, in the middle of nowhere. I found myself near people I do not find familiar that just whisper to my ear these weird words that oddly make me stop this continuous scream filled with confusion and feelings of insecurity. I believe this woman is my mother and he, the one standing there as he was made out of concrete might be my beloved father. Who knows?  Maybe this is a new beginning.