"Mi-a fost dor de tine si mi-ai lipsit..."

"Ursi polari, zebre, gazele cu adrenalina in sange vanate de tigrii culturisti, unicornii pe care eu ii vad negri, gri sunt doar caii virgini ce le-au crescut un penisache in frunte si sunt dubios de colorati, somnorosii ursi koala si multe alte animale preferate."


"Alb de lapte, alb, alb albastru, alb de zapada, alb de zinc, verde masliniu, verde opalin, verde menta, verde absint, verde indigo, gri, gri perla, aramiu, saten, blond, roscat, caramiziu, chihlimbar, bleu marin, azuriu, abanos, galben... sunt doar cateva culori preferate... trebuie sa vezi cum ursul panda a ramas singurul ( alaturi de alte cateva specii) cu schita necolorata de Dumnezeu..."


One day baby we'll be old.


"mi e dor de tine mereu.."

A never ending circle of pain...

Once someone gets hurt they become damaged, and once they are damaged they become colder and colder by evey minute that passes by. Once changed, he can never come back to what he was. He is cursed with the feeling that he will never open up to someone again and by that he will himself damage another. What an unbreakable chain we have here huh?

Going backwards.

        T.S. Eliot once said: “What we call the beginning is often the end.  And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

       So let’s start from the ending. It’s my last day on this wonderful world and I can honestly say I will finish my let’s call it journey in peace. I am fulfilled. I have had the opportunity of having opportunities, the chance of taking chances and I risked spending my entire life risking. Indeed, I am that old rusty man standing on the porch waiting for his last minutes to vanish, enjoying all the things normal people forget about, as the sun, the cold pouring rain in the middle of the hot summer, like the smell of grass and not to forget about the trips to memory lane. Yes, these are the most important. Once I’m gone, my memories are gone along with me and the only thing remaining on this great land will be my memory in the eyes of the others.  My life goes by in the blink of an eye.

       Oh I can’t imagine a harder period of my life than this. Being an adult is so complicated. My children are driving me crazy and I honestly cannot stand my father in law, he can be so annoying. Why in the world have I agreed with the love of my life to get among us this horrifying creature?  He seems so angry all the time. I wonder if ever I will face harder times than this. It’s outrageous! I am not stressed, I am beyond stressed, I am overwhelmed.  I don’t feel appreciated at all. I can’t wait to be older to get some peace and quiet of my own. If only I knew what life brings me in the future, that would be great! Obviously I have to go, Ben is hungry again. “Be right there to help you, darling!” Oh God what have I done wrong that you punish me this hard?

       I don’t understand them at all, they are too strict. Don’t they ever have fun? Why is my dad always so bumped up or my mother so worried all the time? I am young; I need to be wild and free. Who needs school? Who needs them? I can do very well on my own. I want to see the whole world and have an adventure of my own as I’ve seen in those cool Tom Cruise movies. Will they ever understand that I will do as I please? I am much more mature then they are. They know nothing! Why can’t they just leave me alone? Now I am grounded for throwing a party they did not know about.  Have they forgotten how it’s like to be young? Of course they have, they still listen to songs like “singing in the rain” and “don’t stop believing”. They are pathetic. I will get out of this house through the window as I always do. See you in the morning grannies. I’m out!

       So I woke up here, in a place I do not know, in the middle of nowhere. I found myself near people I do not find familiar that just whisper to my ear these weird words that oddly make me stop this continuous scream filled with confusion and feelings of insecurity. I believe this woman is my mother and he, the one standing there as he was made out of concrete might be my beloved father. Who knows?  Maybe this is a new beginning.

The revelation of a drunk man

      

     Pardon me for being a little dizzy but I have been trying to stop being sad by drinking. I must tell you something really important before I go to sleep or probably black out so please listen carefully.  So I took a couple of drinks with some friends of mine some hours back and they started this weird conversation about some man called Malcom X that once said: “A man who stands for nothing will fall for anything”.

     I have been thinking about this sentence and I honestly, tried to interpret its meaning in a positive way but the truth of the matter is I actually cannot. The thing is, as much as you’d revolve around this idea you can understand its basic meaning which would be the one that a man, a human being that does not believe in anything and does not have faith in anything will be falling for everything. Yet again, you could debate on this idea saying that it could mean a simple balance between two things, a mistake (not standing for anything) and a consequence (not being able to avoid falling for anything).

    I believe this sentence highlights the main goal a man should be aiming for, the one about having to trust someone, not being alone and actually do the exact opposite that the quote says because if you get to think about it, there is no man in the entire world that has never stood up for anything in his life! You can never be that one man that falls for anything for God has left you with your own judgment in order to avoid situations alike.  So tell me now, what would do a man that stood for anything and fell for nothing at all? Would that be a better alternative?  Wouldn’t that make him cold hearted and unreachable? Wouldn’t that be awful?

    So be that man that stands for something! Stand for the things you desire most because it’s worth it. Be like this and you will certainly not be falling for anything.

Cheers!!!

The art of war

                  I should start this discussion by saying that lately I have been thinking about something that just can’t be avoided. It might seem random but the thought that has been consuming me is the one about war. It takes many shapes and each of them has a different influence among people. The one I am most concerned of, and the one I will start debating on, is about the war between bodies, or in other words, if you can call it so, an ordinary war.

           The first thing that went through my mind is obviously a let’s say painting. I will start from the beginning. Imagine a white piece of paper and yourself, starting to create a landscape with a brush that can not only make your work of art realistic, but can also bring it to life. So choose your colors and choose them wisely! You know what they say; one wrong move and the whole thing can turn out into a complete disaster. So paint your lands and paint the strongest warriors you have in your mind, but don’t forget, it doesn’t matter how many you make, you need to keep on going. Got it so far?

       I am not sure that I completely follow.

       Neither do I, so keep on going!

      As I was saying, this need of repeatedly and non-stop duty will sooner or later exhaust me, thing I should stop from happening. But here comes the big question: “How?” How in the world can you keep your chin up when your colors are almost over and the only one remaining is the one that must not be used?

       Which is?

       Red!

      Red is the color that symbolizes the tragedy, the blood.  The war has begun!  Pain, sorrow? Yes, it’s everywhere. Everywhere I look I can see people suffering, my lands shivering and my people, oh my people are soon to be gone. The ones that used to keep their shields up are now crying for help; they are terrified, they are fading from my painting as I, with my own free will chose to erase them.

       So you mean…?

         Yes! That’s exactly what I mean! Once used red you can never go back. Tell me now, isn’t this the worst and most awful painting you would ever see?

        Truth be told, it wouldn’t. You see… I have been thinking about war these days as well. But not about the one you mentioned earlier but about one much deeper, let’s say a more spiritual one, the one between souls, or in other words, another war.

         So you can give this painting another meaning? Is that what you want to say?

        I believe I do, and I believe I can not only give it another meaning but also change your whole point of view when it comes to what’s truly an awful painting.

      If you don’t mind I will grab a piece of paper myself and start throwing colors all around it, not giving it a certain meaning. No landscapes, not trying to make it look realistic because this painting will bring itself to life. So I chose my colors and I chose them wisely.

       But…

       I know what they say!  So I’ll paint randomly the strongest feelings, not warriors, I have in my soul but no matter how hard I’ll try I will never be able to make something easily understood.

      All of us have at least once been through the battle of our soul against another. It’s that moment when you do not use your body but you follow your instincts, you do what you desire or what you are forced to do. Imagine that from my combination of colors you see with the eyes of your soul, love, and you can only use your sealed lips that can reach out to another pair alike, and can only hear with your deaf ears the silence while the screaming ache brings you pain.

       That still doesn’t mean that this soul to soul battle outmatches the ordinary war. In fact…

       Just wait and listen carefully! Imagine yourself being handcuffed and tied up not being able to say, hear, or see anything, but yet again you feel the urge of saying things, hearing things, and seeing things.  What happens then? You would pick the ordinary war which you’ve just spoken about, because you could use your strength, your judgment and the help of the others. Remember! The biggest difference between these two wars is the fact that you get help, I don’t! It’s one soul against another, and that; that brings a lot of pain!

       I believe you are right!

       Unfortunately, I don’t!

       Why don’t you agree?

       My turn to represent my vision on a piece of paper!  So wipe the paintings and let’s reset!  Have you ever wondered that it might be a third type of war? I’m going to turn your world upside down. Indeed there is another type, a combination between the ones you’ve both talked about, the one between bodies and souls or in other words, the last war.  No landscapes, no brushes, not anything at all. Just a wise choice of colors which combines two opposite, but yet again, two things that can’t be one without the other.  So I’ll let you paint this one for me with the bounding between your tough battles!  We all know that the body united with the soul makes one unique human being, but when one is not in complete harmony with the other…

       Then what?!

       Then, the body is the prison for the soul, and if the soul is imprisoned in the body then it blocks its evolution leading to a horrifying result! The dualism between the body and the soul is clearly evident, and due to this fact, the body is the subservient and the soul is in charge. However it is just that the soul is the master while the body is the obedient servant. 

     Enlighten me for a moment! I do want to understand it’s just…

      Don’t worry! It’s not as complicated as it seems. Hand me the brush and follow my lead with your imagination! The soul inspires what we should do, like the driver who decides where he wants to go. Oh, one more thing, here comes a new element, the mind or so that you can continue imaginating, the leader of the body. It takes the inspiration and finds a way to achieve the soul’s goal like a steering wheel.  The body performs what has to be done, like the car which takes the driver to his desired destination.  If the soul knows what do to in our interest and the body just obeys to commands, then it is pretty clear that most of the problems we meet in our lives can find their happy ending.

       So, if it is such a good balance between these two how can you say there is a war between them?  You’ve lost me as well…

       Look! The human being it’s a miraculous fusion of three polar opposites, the soul, the body and the mind, living in contradiction. But let me ask you something, what if the mind does misinterpret the souls directions, what if it doesn’t find the right way to reach the destination, the light at the end of the tunnel, the balance,  or in other words,  what would  the unskilled human do if he can’t drive the car?

       But that would mean…

     Yes, it means he will end up losing his way. One last thing, remember, the soul says what, the mind finds how and the body does it! So let’s combine the paintings as we agreed on. What do we see?

     The first shows the pure blood thirst, the ability of a group of individuals training for a huge battle, the supreme sacrifice, and the total involvement into a cause which has its result reaching out for the greater good …

       And the second?

       The second shows that in this kind of war there are involved feelings, disappointments, achievements and the incapability of using anything but your own soul as a weapon but not being able to have the body as a shield.

       What about the third?

      The third shows that in order to avoid a war, a human being will need to be at a full concentration rate so that he will not bring him or others the catastrophic outcome.

       So which one of these do you think is considered the worst war of them all?

Teenage dream.

I should start by saying that I did stay and stare at the title for a couple of hours so far because I did not know how to start this essay. I believe that this just one word contains so many things that cannot be simply written. It would not be enough or at least that’s what I believe.

          Starting with the definition of this word we see that the adolescence is the stage of youth, or maturity. If you think about it this definition does not even cover a tiny part of this entire period of life, actually, it is not even close.  Adolescence is the part of one’s life that he or she will never forget due to the fact that it plays an important role in the formation and evolution of all people. It is considered a bridge that leads you from your way of being a child to a grown up responsible person. I do find the fact that parents think they really know their children while going through adolescence honestly hilarious because it’s the most unpredictable and mysteries moment of someone’s life. What they know, in most cases, is their child’s external behavior, the one he wants his parent to see. However, if a child crosses the lines their parents drew for them then automatically he is labeled as being the absurd and out of control one. 

       The thing I never understood was why did elder people believe that the adolescent himself cannot have his own ideas or opinions, face his own problems ( for having problems at such an early age is unacceptable and out of discussion) or try to let’s say emancipate himself from his parents by trying to become a responsible person in life. Don’t they remember how it’s like being a teenager? How mean people are or how hard the times are? How down you feel and disappointed by others or how fast you change your personal mood from one to another? I for one find that hard to believe. I do because I can’t imagine myself being an adult and not remembering all the fun and the bad times I’ve had throughout my adolescence.

          I may continue this idea by saying that these days; teenagers are faced with serious issues that may lead them to do unimaginable things. Let’s not forget dear adults that this is the age where children discover alcohol, some discover drugs, some start their love life and so on. Note for the ones living in the past, times have changed; people have changed, deal with it. It is the time that you must know from one of them, the rebellious, that having to do what you did at an earlier age does not make us nor stupid nor unable to make the right choices but it makes us a let’s say leveled up species. Teenagers these days already have the capacity of judging and dealing with adult issues maybe by the fact that they have more free will then the ones back then.

         Cutting to the chase, being an adolescent has its ups and downs. I don’t believe I’ve made this period of every people’s life any clearer but there’s just one thing you should remember, when you’re finished taking the road trip to the bridge never forget to get a trip back to the memory lane every once in a while. You can be the difference all the kids want to see in their parents. 

Signed,

Forever young.